DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at a happy hour for my company’s end-of-year holiday party, and since I recently joined the team, I was looking forward to getting to know everyone better in a relaxed setting.
At first, I was enjoying myself and everything was going well. Then one of my colleagues started talking about his political views, and the way he spoke made me and the others in the group uncomfortable. It felt inappropriate to bring up at a work event, especially one meant to celebrate the holidays and bring people together.
I tried to redirect the conversation, but he kept going and became louder, too, which only made the energy in the group more tense.
I barely know these colleagues, so I did not want to cause conflict or seem rude so early on in my time at the company, but I also did not want to stand there and pretend I agreed with him. Afterward, I felt uncomfortable and worried that this might be a recurring issue with him.
I want to build good relationships with my team, yet I am unsure how to set boundaries or handle situations like this going forward.
How should I approach him if this type of behavior happens again, and should I bring it up to anyone at work?
— Broken Boundaries
DEAR BROKEN BOUNDARIES: You are new to the company. Observe how the team members interact with each other. Pay attention to casual conversation so you get a sense of other people’s views.
If you find yourself in a situation where just the two of you are together, you may mention to him that you thought things got awkward when the conversation got political at the party. You can suggest that it’s probably best to leave politics at the door at social functions like that. He probably won’t agree with you, but you will have stated your case.
In the future, if he or anyone else starts mouthing off, you can walk away and refuse to engage. Or you can ask the person to change the subject so that you have addressed it directly.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a seasoned professional with more than 10 years of experience, yet I’ve been unemployed for over a year now.
I’ve applied to what feels like hundreds of roles, mostly through LinkedIn or online portals, and it’s like my résumé keeps disappearing into a black hole. I know the job market is tough, but I’m starting to question my value.
People tell me to “stay positive” and repeat affirmations, but positivity alone isn’t paying the bills — or boosting my confidence anymore.
I want 2026 to look different. I’m ready to work, to contribute, to grow, but I’m exhausted from cold-applying to jobs that never even acknowledge my application.
What can I do to stand out? How do I get noticed by employers when the traditional methods aren’t working?
— Going Unnoticed
DEAR GOING UNNOTICED: There are so many employment sites that promise perfect matches for potential candidates, and yet many people complain that the experience feels sterile, inhuman (which it may be, as many are AI-powered) and uncaring.
While I don’t suggest that you stop using those sources altogether, I do recommend going the old-fashioned route: Put yourself out there. Go to networking events. Press the flesh.
Also — volunteer. Since you have time, pick a charity or other organization that needs help, and offer your service. I can’t tell you how many times people have found work when they volunteer.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
The Mercury News
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